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What to do when you’re feeling like you’re not good enough and feeling alone, unnoticed, or under-appreciated.

I like to learn from the hard challenges in life and find the upside in them and leverage them for progress, success, happiness, fulfilment and money.

Not doing well enough, and not feeling good enough, is, different. So, people who don’t feel good enough maybe, they don’t feel worthy. They don’t feel credible. Maybe, they feel they have a lack of confidence. There’s some imposter syndrome. You know, I don’t feel worthy of being in this room with these people. There are so many people more credible and more experienced, I should even start. I’m not good enough. I’m a failure. I’m a loser, and all these things.

2020 was a brutal year but as business owners and as entrepreneurs there have been valuable lessons learned that you can take into 2021 to improve your business and to scale your brand. 

And in our most challenging year, which is, ironically also, our best year, I felt at some degrees quite alone, and isolated, and no one understood me. But it was my fault, because I’ve always had mentors. At this point, I didn’t have a mentor. Like, only for a few months, did I not have a mentor. But I felt I’m having a mentor. I always go on courses and get coaches, and do a lot of training, and listen to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks.

The trick is to think of your business as if a competitor of yours is trying to disrupt you, trying to out-hustle you, and trying to be better than you.

For the fact like that, those 3 months when I was rucking in, solving all of the fires that felt like, they were spreading everywhere, I felt like I was the only guy putting them out. One little extinguisher against a load of massive fires. I hadn’t done the courses that I had, the education, the podcasts, the audiobooks. I stopped going out there and socialising with a lot of really successful entrepreneurs. I wasn’t asking anyone for any help. You know, if you just look at people, they don’t know what you’re trying to say, if you just look at them. You’ve got to ask them.

Arnold Schwarzenegger famously said, no one succeeds alone. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs a team, needs an agent, needs a PA, needs a support network. You need staff. You need customers. You need communities. You need friends. No one succeeds alone. I mean, look at the biggest companies in the world. I mean Walmart is one of the biggest employers, I believe. I think they employ like, I don’t know, is it 2 million people across the globe? So, the Walton family didn’t become billionaires on their own.

If you feel alone, underappreciated, misunderstood, unrecognised, you’ve got to ask for help. I know sometimes, you don’t want to ask. You just want people to come and help. But that’s a bit of a romantic notion. Actually, I’ve learned for most of the time, I’m pretty good at going and asking for help. I’ll ask a therapist or a mentor. I’ll pay a therapist or a mentor. Or, I’ll go and ask someone in my staff. Or, I’ll ask the advice of my business partner or my MD. It’s really important to have a good network of people around you, positive people, successful people and some critics to challenge you and to learn from.

But so many people are feeling alone, but they’re not doing anything about it. They’re all getting out there. They’re not asking for help. They’re not surrounding themselves with the right people who can help them. They say the rising of the tide lifts all ships.

One thing I learned about myself, is, I’m pretty good at asking for help in every area, except the area I perceive people look up to me. So, I can go around and ask anyone for help for anything that I don’t know how to do. Now, the old me who was defensive, and jealous, and bitter, and envious, my ego would get in the way. I wouldn’t ask anyone for any help, because I didn’t want them to think I was weak, or that I couldn’t do it. I wanted to impress people, and then think that I could do things. So, I struggled on my own.

I’ve got rid of that now, because asking for help, it’s not a weakness. It’s a strength. Actually, people like you it, when you ask for help, because then they can help you. It makes them feel important. But one area of weakness for me, is, if it’s in writing books, or marketing, or strategy, or vision, or podcast, up until maybe 4 months ago, I felt like I didn’t want to ask anyone for help, because I’m supposed to know that shit. You know, people look up to me. I’m supposed to have my stuff like, figured out there. But it’s okay for you to not have stuff figured out all the time.

Are there marriage counsellors who’ve been divorced? Probably. You could argue, it makes them a better marriage counsellor, if they’ve been divorced. There are bodybuilders who’ve been overweight. Or, there are personal trainers who’ve been overweight and unhealthy. Yeah, because that’s part of their experience.

Even in the areas, where people think you’ve got it made, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s not a weakness to ask for help. They say that you go halfway to solving the problem by admitting that you’ve got the problem, and that is huge.

Well, that is not true. Because very human being that’s alive has a purpose for humanity. A greater purpose, probably understood by a bigger intelligence than ourselves. Otherwise, he wouldn’t exist. Therefore, everyone has their own place and space. Some people need to consume. Some people need to produce. Some people need to be a butcher. Some are bakers. Some are candlestick maker. Some are bankers. Some are lawyers. Some are accountants. Some are consultants. Some are artists. Because all of the vocations that exist in the world, for them to exist, they serve other people.

We’re an interconnected species. We are dependent on each other for survival. Like, when you’re born, you’re completely dependent. I mean, I was dependent for 25 years, that’s not good. Maybe, you could be a bit more independent in your later teens. But I was dependent on my parents for 25 years like a baby. Whereas other mammals or animals that are born, are, immediately independent. Like, they’re just gone. Often, off into the wild, you’re gone.

We are an interdependent species. So, you have a place. Your uniqueness is credible. Who you are has volition, and meaning, and purpose, and value to others. And you matter to people. And sure, you’re not where you want to be yet. And fine, you don’t have the skills yet. But those skills can be learned. And that experience can be gained. Because remember, every winner was once a beginner. And every master was once a disaster.

So, not feeling good enough, is not appreciating who you are, appreciating what you’ve done, appreciating your place and purpose. I’ve got Kieran here who heads up our social media. He’s doing some of these lives, while we’re doing the recording. He’s an ex-Bodybuilding World Champion. If I compare my fitness, and physique, and body to him, I’m not going to feel good about myself. But he won’t mind me saying. I’m far better looking than him. No, he won’t mind me saying I’ve got a bit more money, and I’ve got a bit more business experience. And if he compares himself to me, then he’s not going to feel good.

But he’s 25, and he’s not been in business anywhere near as long as I have. And I’ve not been doing, all right, okay, I’m a bit older than him. I’ve not done as much weight. So, I’ve not had the training, the education, the experience, the journey. It’s not being a goal of mine. So, the best thing I can do, is go, hey, Kieran admire me for this. I admire Kieran for that. This is my place. I’m good enough for being me. That’s the important thing. You are good enough at being you.

I think about maybe, some people or some vocations which I feel have no value. Like, a critic. What’s the point of that? But if you think about every vocation, it serves. Because a critic serves to give you feedback, to keep you balanced, to help you learn, to keep you on mission, to stop you from being complacent, arrogant, flippant, to stop you from not caring, and to become too powerful and too greedy.

So, everything that someone does in this planet has a value, and purpose, and place. So, if you believe that as the wider humanity, you have to believe that about yourself. I also think, if you have faith in humanity, you can have faith in yourself. Because anything that any human being can do, you can do within your physical limitations.

So, sure, some people are born short. Some people are born tall. Some are born strong. Some people are not so strong. Some people are maybe born with slightly different genes, which gives them a certain strategic advantage in certain areas. I will respect that.

But no one is born a musical genius. No one is born a golfer world champion. No one is born a billionaire. All of those things are learned. So, if any human being can learn it, you can learn it So, if you have faith in humanity’s ability to create miracles, solve world problems, to learn, to do amazing things, which human beings all across the world since the history of time have proven over and over again the things that you think are amazing, and inspiring, and miracle, you look at someone and go, wow, you’re a genius. That’s human. That means you can do that too.

All you have to do, therefore, is, follow the process that the people that you admire or the people that are experienced in the space you want to be good at. You follow their process. You become their student. You get good mentors. If you wanted to be a 3rd or 4th time black belt, you would probably get a 5th or a 6th time black belt to teach and train you.

I remember my PE instructor, Mr Marsh. He said to me when I was a kid, I was trying to touch my toes. I couldn’t get passed my knees. And he said, Moore, you’re obviously inflexible. You’ve got tight hamstrings. It’s just the way it is. And I owned that, and thought, well, I’m inflexible. I’ve got tight hamstrings. But what does that mean? I mean that’s just doesn’t mean anything. He wasn’t saying that to critique me. I think he’s probably just trying to be kind. So, I didn’t feel stupid in front of everyone else when I was trying to touch my knees, when everyone else could touch their toes. By the way, I was probably in my wife’s front, because I forgot my kid. I was really overweight as a kid. So, there are some bad memories there.

But the point, is, I own that belief. Then I went and started martial arts in my early 20s. And I said to my martial art instructor, I just want to let you know I’ve got tight hamstrings. I’m not very flexible. He went, there’s no such thing as tight hamstrings. I can help you to get flexible. All right, and so, he got me do various stretches. He got me doing just a little bit more each time, and holding them, and occasionally he’d come and push me just a little bit from behind, just enough to stretch me, and probably within what, 2 years, I could do the splits. That for me was a massive thing, because my whole life, I’d assumed I wasn’t flexible.

So, you can learn anything that you want. So, if you aren’t who you want to be, or where you want to be, and don’t feel that you’re good enough, have faith in humanities ability to learn and development, and become something greater. Because, if you have faith in humanities ability to do that, you have to have faith in your own ability to do that, because you are a human.

I don’t want to promote laziness, or a victim mentality, or too much self-bathing in your own sympathy of loneliness and inaptitude. Ah, it’s my parents’ fault. Ah, I was born in this particular part of the world. And this happened to me. Things make you or break you. Your challenges they define who you are. We all have them, by the way. I’ve spoken to people on a daily basis who’ve had suicide in the family, death in the family, murder in the family, all sorts of horrific instances, gone vastly bust, have everything taken from them, massive legal cases. You name it. I’ve heard or helped people through it. And every entrepreneur I speak to, they have their own challenges. We’re all the same that we have our own challenges. We often assume ours are deeper, or harder, or worst.

For me, everything is about context. So, if you look at the first 3 points covered, comparing yourself to others, well, that’s context around how you compare yourself to others. And if you compare yourself favourably to 2 billion people on the planet who don’t even have sanitary water, and they have to walk 10 miles to get water. In some countries, water is probably one of the biggest causes of death, drinking water.

And I’m looking at Arnold Schwarzenegger feeling like, I’m not successful enough in business. Well, at least I can drink clean water. There’s always someone worse off than you. There’s always someone that’s got it harder than you. There’s always someone who’s had a lot worse lux than you. And that’s wise to remember to keep yourself in balance.

You are good enough already. And you can learn to be even better. You are credible now with who you are, with your whole life’s story. Don’t forget you’ve lived a life. And you’ve got experience, and you’ve overcome problems. You’ve dealt with difficulties. You’ve made some mistakes, and you’ve learned from them. Your life matters. And your whole life needs to come into your art and your work.

The famous story of Picasso. Picasso was one of the few artists in his life who’ve made a lot of money in his life. This is quite a famous story about him in a café in France. He was very famous in his life, certainly in the later years, and a bit of a celebrity back then. Someone came up to him while he was having a meal in a café and said, can you sketch me something. He got a napkin. He did a sketch. He took a few seconds. There was that pregnant pause. They looked at each other. The lady who asked him to do the sketch said, okay, so, do I need to pay you for this? He said, yeah, that will be 5,000 francs. She said, 5,000 francs? That took you 5 seconds. He said, no, that took me my whole life.

And often with people’s low pricing, with people’s lack of feeling of confident and credible, it’s because they’re not honouring what they’ve done in their whole life. They’re just comparing themselves to other people who they perceived have done more.

Perhaps you’ve switched projects a few times & it’s not quite brought in the cash you would have liked? You’ve gone back to the drawing board. You’re frustrated that you’re not quite making the money despite the huge effort you’ve put in. And it even makes you want to give up at times?

I am passionate about helping as many young & underprivileged start & scale meaningful businesses that change the world and I want to help as many entrepreneurs start & scale their business & get a better financial education. I go into more detail about this in my brand new online course called “How to Turn Your Passion into a Profession” where Kevin Clifton & I have a 2 hour, deep dive event in the professional studio with slides & practical actions.

Written by Rob Moore

Written by Rob Moore

Rob Moore; host of "Disruptors” & a ‘disruptive' Entreprenuer:

He disrupted the property investing world, with over 1,350 property rental units managed/owned/sold
Became a millionaire by age 31
He disrupted the business world with public 3x longest speech world records
Disrupted books by being a best-selling author of 19 books on money, business & investing
14 companies &multiple 7 & 8 figure businesses
He disrupted the influencer world with his global podcast, Disruptors, with over 1,000 episodes & a community of over 3 million followers across all platforms

Rob's mission: to help as many people on the planet get better financial knowledge and help YOU make, manage and multiply more money through multiple streams of income


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