Networking Success: Strategically Choose Your Inner Circle

‘The secret smart people know is the smart people they know’ - Rob Moore

Putting it bluntly, the people you hang around with is everything. You virtually become the people you spend the most time with. They say if you hang around 5 people, you become the 6th. I can’t express enough the power of your network in building personal wealth.

Or how much it can hold you back if it is the wrong people and the wrong crowd.

I’ve hardened on this over the years. In the early years I felt that disowning your friends and family was perhaps a little rash or arrogant, after all they probably care about you in some way. And you can't blame them for wanting you to stay where you are, because that is the you they know.

But now I would encourage you to be tactical and ruthless about who you spend (invest) your time with. Hunt out successful people as quickly as you can, and gravitate towards them, fast. And leave everyone else behind, because you can’t save everyone and you can’t take everyone with you on your journey.

Your friends and family may care for you, and it may come from a place of love, but are they where you want to be in life?

Joe Rogan says that you pretty much have to ignore your friends and family, because they don’t want you to take risks because they love you and they want you to be comfortable. It is dangerous to listen to well intentioned but out of context advice.

You have to know who to listen to, and who to ignore. Everyone has an opinion, most of which are highly overvalued, and given the chance people will chunder their opinion all over your face.

To me, it is really this simple. I ask myself, ‘Is this person giving me this advice where I want to be in life, in this area of apparent specialism?’

If so, you have my attention. I am all ears. If not, I will smile, and get away from the conversation as quickly as possible.

If the people closest to me are holding me back, some I will move away from, and others I will limit to small doses how much time I spend with them. You can choose your friends, but not your family, but you have full, final and personal responsibility for who you spend time with and how much time you spend with them.

If you’re bringing me shit advice, drama, moaning, blaming, complaining and a fat black hole of negative energy, get to fuck. I have learned over the years it is best to say nothing, give no reason or excuse, just move away. You do not owe anyone any justification, and it will just drain more time away.

David Goggins said to me when I interviewed him for the #Disruptors podcast, that sometimes he will sit his wife down and say: ‘I love you, but I have to go and do {insert new crazy David Goggins challenge}. I hope you will support me because I have to do this.’ And off he goes.

You need people who will support your mission. You also, importantly and equally, need people who will equally challenge you. Lift you up when times are tough, and pull you down when you are being a diva. Many people only want the support without the challenge, this is an echo chamber and you will not grow without challenge and accountability.

Tristan Tate says that ‘broke’ people are ‘stubborn and slow’. I like being around people who are open minded, willing to discuss and get excited about ideas and opportunities, and quick to act and implement. Being around people who discuss the upside of ideas, not the downside of people, is very, very important. People who don’t say ‘you can’t do that’, but instead say ‘how can you do that’?

Leveraging Connections For Success

6 Degrees of Separation

Because money comes through people, and the 6 degrees of separation states that anyone on earth can be connected to any other person across the furthest points on the planet. Meaning there is a maximum of 6 people separating you from anyone else on the planet. Therefore you are much closer than you think to all the money you could want, through any person on the planet.

Money: If You Don’t Ask You Don’t Get

You may not get the money on the first degree. You may get the money on the second or third. You may not get the money on the first ask. You may get the money on the third. Or through someone who knows someone (who knows someone). Too many people have such a short-term view of money that they repel or dismiss the first person because they don’t have a sign over their head that says ‘take my money’. If you don’t ask, you don’t get, and the answer will always be no.

Networking & Having an Impact

Initially, through the first, or second person, you might have to accept some initial rejection, patience in asking for a referral, balancing selling too hard with selling too soft and not asking for what you want. Imagine for a moment if you made such an impact on the first person, the ripple effect that would have with the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth person.

Bear in mind the following factors with every single person you meet, now:

1. Your reputation
2. The ‘mind-space' you own in their head & how ‘top of mind’ you are
3. Your frequency, vibration and how you make people feel
4. Referrals to you or about you
5. They know someone who knows someone who knows someone
6. They may not have money now, but they could have money later

Imagine how the following would change, or your view of these would change, if you had even just a second or third degree view, rather than a first-degree view:

1. Raising finance
2. Pitching business ideas
3. Finding deals, assets & property
4. Marketing your business
5. Selling your products, services & ideas
6. Getting debt paid off
7. Attracting staff & partners
8. Finding jobs
9. Sharing a grand vision & inspiring others

Strategic & Leveraged Thinking

You could say that this is simply long-term thinking versus short-term thinking. I think it is much deeper than that. It’s more strategic and leveraged. It’s what creates attraction over repulsion and pull rather than push. Imagine if like a mind map or a heads up display you could physically see the connections you were making, or breaking, and your positive, money-magnetic reputation and brand going viral through the six degrees network. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Maintaining Personal Connections: A Key to Networking

I’ve been an entrepreneur for 17 years, and built up a solid black book (WhatsApp contacts). But I must admit that when I started in business I was hungry and spent a lot of time networking, and then when life got more comfortable, I slowed down. For 6 of the nearly 8 years of running my podcast #Disruptors, my manager dealt with my guests and all communication with them. This was a mistake, because many of my older, huge guests I am not personally in contact with.

I realised the error of judgement that this was, and despite it being ‘leveraged’, there are some things you should not leverage; your top relationships being one of them. So now, I make sure I connect personally with, and exchange numbers with all of my guests, and follow up. We stay in touch, I try to help where I can, and I have never asked for any money from any of them.

But imagine if I had one week to raise £10 million or £50 million, otherwise my kids would be kidnapped.

I’d let them have the fuckers haha. I won’t find you. I won’t kill you. You can have them.

Seriously though I think I would get this done with a few days to spare, leveraging the relations and contacts I’ve built over the years. The billionaires, the Dragons, the celebrities and the entrepreneurs.

And you can too. Start now. Do not make the mistake I made.

Having a Good Lawyer, Accountant, Tax Specialist & More

As you build vast wealth, and you have more to lose, and more people want to take it from you, and you have more competitors, and the money matrix (IRS, HMRC) extends its control and influence, a good lawyer will be a vital part of your network. Ask O.J Simpson about that.

A good generalist commercial lawyer is the foundation of your legal team. Over time, you might need other specialists, like reputation and crisis management PR, IP, contract, defamation and so on. My starting point to find a good lawyer is through a peer or business mentor who has experience and is where I want to be, and has handled the issue I am currently going through.

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