Most of us love the ‘new’. It is exciting to be in the dreamy phase. All those possibilities.We get that new lease of life we’re looking for. We can turn our back on all the problems of the old thing & they will just magically disappear, right?
Look how green that grass is over there.But how long does it last? & is it indeed everything we want? The naive fantasy is that it will be easier & better doing something else, with someoneelse.
There is as of yet no proof that it won’t be better, so your imagination can run free.You get seduced that all the difficulties will just slip away when you start again.But is anything new really better? Or just different? Well, it dependsIf you’re running away from the struggle, the new alluring thing will present exactly that same challenge until you master it. Like clockwork.
Like the lover who seems to attractthe same kind of partner time & time again that hurts them, or the person that losesmoney in every new venture.
- You think you have ridden yourself of all the problems? No, you just get new ones, or the old ones in a new form.
- You think the downside was that you had difficult customers? Well now you have none.
- You think the downside was staffing issues, well now you have to do everything yourself.
- You think the downside was that you got critics? Well now you have no fans.
If you want the struggle to change, there is only one way that it will go away. You have to learn through it, grow through it, endure it & master it.
And then you think you can settle down on a beach & sip cocktails? Ha! All that happens is you pave the way for the next level challenge that you weren’t ready for before.
But what if what you are doing, you know for sure you don’t love?
Well, in everything you now hate, there are always parts you love. It might be the securityof the job you want to quit.
It might be the non-loneliness of a difficult relationship or the money of a JV partner that has leveraged & controlled you.
So before you go into something new, especially if you have been doing your old thing a long while and have built history, check the following:
- Am I being weak & running away
- Am I naive of the downsides of the new thing
- Am I repeating a pattern in all the old-but-used-to-be-new things I started?
- Is this a test to grow through
- Am I being seduced by someone/something else?
- What do I have to start again, again?
Only do something new if it is aligned with your vision & values.
Only do something new if you are eyes-wide-open about the downside & prepared to endure it
And then once you are clear & sure, go for it, endure the short term downsides like lack of income, security & fear, & then stay on that path for as long as you can, because there will be future wobbles where the temptation of the new & the romance of the easy will tempt you.
Questions comments debates & arguments welcome below & please share with others