Some people are going to consider this a rant. I consider this a fair warning. It won’t take long. But I think you need to listen to this.
There are a lot of people out there that criticise other people. They criticise other businesses, brands and influencers as a way to elevate their own business or brand. They criticise others, because they feel that they’re right and they’re wrong. Often, let’s be honest, it kind of, feels good in the moment. An emotional lash out to criticise others.
I’m a believer that criticism ideally in the form of critical feedback is vital for growth. What I am not saying, is, always be nice. Always treat others as how you would want to be treated. I think that is a nice way to live your life. But this is not the message.
But I just want to warn you, that if you spent time and energy criticising others, if you criticise others to elevate yourself, you are going to get exactly that back and more.
I believe that the world is a mirror. The energy, information, conversation and the marketing that you put out, will reflect directly back as a mirror to you. If criticise others, others will criticise you. If you lash out to others, others will lash out at you, and the world will be a mirror. Whereas, if you focus on your own business, your own brand, your own mission, and your own message, and you put that out to the world, you’re going to attract the people that are attracted to that message.
I know sometimes, it can feel cathartic and a release to have a bitch, and a moan, and a bit of a lash out at people. But think about this, and I’m surprised most people don’t know this. You know when you see people bitching, moaning, criticising, lashing out, fighting, picking fights, ousting people, when you see people do that online or face-to-face, you cannot help, but think, well, they’ll probably do that to me. So, actually, it’s not an attractive quality, even if it’s a cathartic quality.
I remember I was recruiting for a PA. And I had 2 people in the final interview. One I thought was okay. It’s a bit of a risk taker. And the other one spent the whole interview bitching about her previous boss. So, it was a no contest. I was never going to hire someone that continually bitches about her boss. Because actually, half the things she bitched about, I probably thought, ah, well, I could do that, or I could be like that, or I’ve done that before. And I knew in 6 or 12 months, that’s exactly what she will be doing to me.
That’s what people will do to you, if you do it to them. Yes, it’s therapeutic, but I don’t think it’s good. I want you to think about who you want to be and how you want to be known. And if you’re strategic about that plan, your mission, your message, I think it probably doesn’t serve you to criticise. I think, if you need to criticise, you should do it in a balanced way, a constructive way, in a fair way, and in an accurate way, and in a non-emotional way.
Like I said, if you put that energy out to the world, you’ll mostly get that energy back. Of course, you’re always going to get critics. You’ll always going to get trolls. You’re always going to get haters. But the best way to turn a critic into a hater, is, to criticise back. I have a couple of exercises for you.
1. Be constructive rather than critical.
2. Do a little exercise. I call it the 30-day no bitch mode. You could be constructive about people. You could give them feedback. You can challenge them. But try and have 30 days, where you cleanse yourself of all winching, moaning, fighting, scraping and bitchiness and getting personal, and saying things that you would regret when you’re not emotional. I think you’ll really enjoy doing that.
In short, if you criticise others, do not bitch, and winch, and moan when you get criticised back. You get into this loop, where you criticise people, they criticise you. And you criticise back. All of a sudden, you’re like a dog trying to chase its tail, and then you’re 80 years old.
It’s also not good for you, criticising others. Yes, it releases the emotion in the moment. But I think then there’s guilt. There’s often shame. There’s often a worry about how they’ll come back at you. For me, this is a personal thing. I’m just that I don’t like it. I see a lot of people attacking other businesses, other brands, and other business owners as a way to elevate themselves when in fact, they’re doing the same, if not worse. And I just don’t think going around, picking fights with everyone, just to try and get ahead in your world, I don’t think that’s productive for you.
A lot of people don’t see the consequence. They don’t know what it means in 10 years, when all the competitions are against them, when everyone is going for them, because they have been doing that for 10 years. I guess this is a bit of a warning for the future.
I hope you’ve found this rant/warning useful. Why don’t we try this 30-day no bitch mode. See how you get on. Let me know how you’re getting on in the communities on about day 50. I’d probably twice slipped, and I didn’t really enjoy it, even though I did it in the moment. I made a little pop about someone’s haircut, when I can’t talk. Then I didn’t feel good about saying something like that.